Only Ashley

I have recently been reminded that there are so many things that happen to me that are rare and oddly humorous, so I thought I would start to document them for entertainment purposes.  I have often been told that my life would make for an awesome reality show, so let's call it "Only Ashley"
Where to begin.....

• There was the time that I was driving and hit a poor little Mexican man on a bicycle.....but I am still sticking to my story that it was his fault....it really was!
• There was the time that I had my axel on my truck break...3 times....while driving....and once on my birthday.
• There was the time I tried to pass a garbage truck and got ran off the road into an old lady's yard and almost went through her house.
• There was the time I got knocked out by a professional volleyball player's spike and it caused me to have swelling on my scalp, making my face oddly shaped.
• There was the time I put Visine A drops in my eyes and it dilate my pupils to where there was no blue left, and then having my mom wake me up every hour with a flashlight in my eyeball to make sure I was not suffering from a brain injury.
• There was the time I hit a bussard while driving, bouncing its  caracas into the back of my truck.
• There was the time I got lost so badly I drove over the Howard Franklin 4 times.
• There was the time I crashed my uncles computer by typing in "I want to play Sammy"..... a game with a worm named Sammy that I played as a child.
• There was the time I threw my back out trying to lift a 400lb compressor and was bed bound for 5 days.
• There was the time I dropped my mom flat on her back while I was trying to carry her to her room after taking an ambien and falling asleep on the couch...in what seemed to be a coma.
• There was the time I did $1800.00 worth of damage on my car for running up onto a water gutter.
• There was the time I charged $22,000.00 to my parents credit card on accident while trying to pay $2,000.00 for my college courses. 
• There was the time me and my sister dislocated my niece's arm while swinging her over puddles.
• There was the time I tripped and fell, throwing my glass of grape juice all over my front door and rug, dying it purple.  
• There was the time I spent the first night of my honeymoon violently vomiting and diarrheaing.
• There was the time I passed out in the shower on the 2nd day of my honeymoon.
• There was the time I said "hey man, what's up?"......to a teenage girl that strongly resembled a boy.
• There was the time I got knocked unconscious and had my glasses broke while playing wiffle ball.
• There was the time I got massive diarrhea on my big date with Andres and he had to stop at 4 gas stations on the way home.....needless to say, it took our relationship to the next level.

Anywho, these are just a few to mention.....sadly.....there are many, many more.  Hope you got a laugh, I live to entertain:)