Anabella Grace: our new little Nina

As many of you already know, our baby girl was diagnosed in utero with a heart condition called Tetralogy of Fallot.  We found out at our 20 week appointment and so began our emotional roller-coster ride for the next several months to now.  Every appointment was different and the news was rarely good news, but our faith that the Lord had His hand on her heart was our comfort.  I am not saying it was easy to trust nor am I saying that it is easy now, but we try very hard to trust that the Lord has a plan.  The doctor's final plan before birth was that as soon as she would be born they would run some tests and determine whether surgery would be immediate or anywhere from 3-6 months.  Ideally, they preferred 3-6 months because she would have more time to grow and learn how to eat on her own to be strong for surgery.  That was the doctor's plan....not the Great Physicians.  His plan is different, and I wish that I could say that I am ok with that, but to be honest, I am struggling.

 

Anabella Grace was born on May 10th weighing in at 7lbs, 15oz and 21inches long.  We were told that she would come out "pink" (breathing correctly and good color from proper blood flow) or "Blue" (not getting enough oxygen.)  She came out a little blue but quickly recovered to pink as soon as they got her to NICU.  She is so beautiful and perfect.  Daddy and I could not be more happy and excited.  The next 3 days went smoothly and they told us that she could go home....4 days earlier than planned....we were elated!  She went home with us and we had 3 amazing days at home, resting and adjusting to the new life of being parents.  We were scheduled for an appointment with the cardiologist on Friday, and that's when this train takes a unplanned turn.  After 2 hours of tests the doctor came in to tell us that we were not going home, but that we were going straight to All Childrens Hospital to be admitted.   Her saturation levels were not good and she was at risk, so off we went to the hospital....and here I sit 5 days later writing this blog.  So, the plan of action is that we will most likely be here for another 3 weeks, allowing her to be monitored and stable.  She will thengo in for open heart surgery to repair the 4 issues, hopefully for good.

If I tried to explain what Andres and I are feeling, there would be no words.  I never knew that I could have such a connection to this brand new family addition, a connection that physically pains me to my core.  Many friends have made statements that they can't believe how well we had handled the whole pregnancy and our positive attitudes towards the situation.  We continually told others and ourselves that "it is fixable and we are blessed," but as the time has arrived that statement is the last thought in my mind.  Do I know that it is a true statement?.....yes.  Do I struggle daily to trust completely in the Lord?....yes.  We never anticipated the emotional battle that we are in right now and the word trust was much more easier to swallow when we weren't in the midst of it yet, but still, we strive for it.  All we do know is that God hand picked us to be Bella's parents, for whatever reason, He has chosen us and that is a fact that we can not ignore or take lightly.  Hands down, this is the hardest thing that we have both ever had to go through, but we are determined to do our best and as the Lord would have us.  Tears are a daily occurrence but it doesn't mean we are broken it just means we are human, but thankfully, God's grace is sufficient.  

Your prayers are appreciated.